Motivation is a Hoax
Tuesday, January 7th, 2020
7:01 am
My husband’s alarm goes off. It’s so loud. Wait, is today Sunday? Is there church? Do we have plans? Why is it still ringing?
“Turn it off!!” I groan, hoping the pillow hasn’t muffled my annoyance.
”Hey, it’s time to go to the gym. You still want to go?” he asks.
Oh. The gym. Right. We joined that yesterday. It’s so early. I’m so warm…my eyes won’t even open. So I say, “Shut up” like any other mature adult and roll over.
Sound familiar? Of course it does! Maybe you thrive before the sun is awake, but I am sure you struggle with finding the motivation to kick start new habits and routines too.
But why is that?
The truth is, real motivation doesn’t come from an outside force, like inspirational posters or gym discounts or our greatest encouraging friend. It doesn’t even come from being more organized or writing down “why” you want to make the change. Motivation does not come before we form a habit, motivation is the end result of the process.
Another way to say it: Real motivation comes from doing the damn thing.
You may be thinking, “That means I’ve been doing motivation wrong this whole time?” Well, yes.
It all comes down to self trust, not self motivation tactics. You see, after years of not following through, we have been programmed to distrust ourselves and our ability to make change. Similar to how we give up on our always late friend ever making it to lunch on time, we stop trusting ourselves to make change because we remember all the times we didn’t change before…and our trust in ourselves is less.
It can be a never ending loop, unless we change the way we think about motivation and slowing build our trust in ourselves once more. How do we do that? By taking it slow, breaking down our steps so they are small & achievable, and quite frankly, following through.
The perfect example is that I can be inspired to go to the gym all I want and have one trillion reasons why exercise is good for me, but none of it gets me out of bed 2 hours earlier than usual on my first day back at the gym. Knowledge & inspiration do not change behavior. Only behavior changes behavior.
If I truly want to go back to the gym, I have to work up to it. So, my first day back, I started at night for 15 minutes. It sounds like a waste of gas, I know, but that’s where I had to begin. I had to remember how to move my legs, to remember that I’d need to buy a lock for the lockers, to figure out the parking and best route. I had to trust that I could make it 15 minutes.
Then, the next day, I went for 35 minutes. I tried the new-to-me 30 minute circuit. I learned something new, got a locker this time, and had a 5 minute cool down. This time I proved to myself that I could make it more enjoyable by remembering my headphones and downloading a podcast too.
Then I went back the next day. And the next. And the next.
And you now what, today…I cannot wait for William to get home so we can go to the gym. That’s motivation.
Now, ultimately, the plan is to still wake up at 7am and go to the gym in the morning. So in the same way, I’m setting my alarm a few minutes earlier each day. This morning, I work up 45 minutes before my original wake up time. Once my body and my mind figure out it’s not so bad, I’ll be motivated to wake up earlier. Once I realize how much more I can get done before work when I wake up earlier, then I’ll be even more motivated.
So, friends, I will repeat: motivation, as we know it, is a hoax. Knowledge does not change behavior and inspiring moments don’t create habits. Motivation strictly comes from action, from experiencing it yourself, and pushing forward.
So as you cultivate your new rhythms and habits this year, ask yourself:
1. Where am I now?
2. What is getting in my way, big or small, from making the step I need to take?
3. What options do I have to ease into my new habit?
4. What will my timeframe be for amping it up to where I want to be?
