My Word for 2018
I have a confession: I am a coffee waster.
It hurts to type that because I love coffee so much, but it is true, I unintentionally waste almost every mug of joe I get.
Let me explain. I love coffee, I really do. Give me a cup of black coffee any day and I’ll be your friend forever. The taste! The energy! The warmth on my hands! For me, a good coffee is all about the perfect temperature. Not too hot that it burns your tongue, not too cold that it is just lukewarm bitterness. Oh yes, the perfect moment when the stem slowly curls up and the warmth on your hands is just right.
But the problem is, I never drink coffee at this point. I’m afraid it will be too hot, so I always wait until it is too cold and undrinkable. It sounds melodramatic, but each time I get a cup, I fearfully anticipate burning my tongue and I don’t trust myself to know when the timing is right. And then, much to my dismay, the coffee is cold & ruined. The mugs stack up on my desk, reminding me of my irrational fear of hot coffee.
It’s a ridiculous example, I know, but the truth is that I live most of my life this way. Most of my decisions and daily life are marked by my fear and inability to trust my own judgements. I’m often unsure, and untrusting of others and mostly my inner guide.
If you’re into personality tests, I’m purely a Type 6 on the Enneagram--constantly coming up with the worst case scenarios, anxiously doubting my own decision making ability, and lacking self-confidence.
When I’m not in a healthy place, fear overcomes me.
It weaves itself through my inner dialogue, my work, my conversations, and my relationships. It is debilitating, causing me to shrink who I am and what I want. I stay home. Avoid conversations and friends. Play small. And second, triple, and quadruple check myself on the smallest of decisions. Confidence and purpose fly out the window, as fear holds me back from the life that I want to live.
It has been this way as long as I can remember, but this past year, I became acutely aware of the ways fear interrupted my life. It is strange, really, I felt like I had made huge strides in my life, and yet, my anxiety was holding me back from fully diving into the new life I was cultivating. Even with forward progress, I still felt stuck and resistant to the change.
It was on this precipice of freedom and fear, that I discovered what my word for 2018 will be. As I wrote down the 5 letters into my journal, they felt strange and yet, familiar. At once, I was reassured that this word, this bold choice, was given to me by me...and that I could trust her.
BRAVE
/brāv/: Possessing or exhibiting courageous endurance; warrior; to dare; bold; daring
Instead of fear, second guesses, and anxiety in 2018, I will...
I will be brave this year.
I will endure courageously.
I will trust myself & my own intuition.
I will choose bravery in all circumstances.
I will actively cover myself in truths about who I am created to be.
I will believe in an ever-present God who provides & guides the beloved.
I will pray constantly to be guided me away from the downward spiral of fear.
I will make the bold choice--even if some days that simply means getting out of the house.
At this point you may be asking, “Great, but how does a new year shift your personality of fear into bravery overnight?” Well, in a nutshell, it doesn’t. But as with all positive life change, it gives me a starting point, a future goal to work towards. Here are my ideas on how to implement it more fully in my life as I tackle my other 2018 goals:
I constructed my 10 big goals for 2018 (I’ll post soon what those are!). From there, I break down the goals into monthly, weekly, and daily action steps centered on my word. For each goal/area of my life, I intentionally have picked action steps that will push me out of my comfort zone.
I am surrounding myself with positive words & truths. Fear is a lie, so I am vowing to surround myself with truth so that I can walk in it. This can be little things like setting the background of my phone to an inspirational quote or adding future reminders in my calendar that I am loved. Mainly, I am focusing reading Scripture this year (something I didn’t do so great in last year) to remind myself of Truth.
I am saying YES--to new ideas, to new opportunities, to putting myself out there, to doing things alone, to hard conversations, to doing things a little wonky, to doing things instead of staying at home on my couch.
I am posting my word. So I can see it and hold myself accountable to the live I intend on cultivating.
You don’t have to choose a word for 2018 if that’s not your thing. Or, you can switch it up and choose one word a month. A dear friend of mine has been focusing on her word for over 4 years now. You do you, honey. There’s no rules to how you live your life.
If you are looking for a word or inspiration for cultivating this new season, here are some thought provoking questions to help decipher what you want your life to be marked by.
When you look at your list of 2018 goals, what is the recurring theme? What is a motif you see laced throughout your intentions?
Write down some words you love or want to embody. Define them. Look up synonyms. What sticks out to you?
Write down something you’d like to change. (Maybe “laziness,” “busyness,” “loneliness,” “inefficient,” etc) Look up antonyms and see if anything catches your eye.
Pray about it. Ask God. Ask a friend. Look for some blind spots you may not even see where you can place your energy & purpose.
