We Value Good Over Perfect

When I’m working with a client who is having a particularly tough time determining priorities or long term goals, I always ask the question, “What’s getting in your way?”

Answers can vary from “I just don’t want to mess this up” to “I don’t know what I may want in the future” to “If I was just ____er, I would know.”

More often than not, what’s blocking her is fear manifesting as perfectionism.

I recognize it because I can live in that headspace too. Especially when I want to justify putting something off or giving up on a dream.

Desiring things to be “just right” before we begin is a lie disguised as good intention.

This is what I had to say about perfectionism on my instagram last week:

Perfect is the enemy of good. -Voltaire
This came up in 2 coaching calls this week, so suffice it to say, smashing perfectionism has been on my mind.

Where am I letting a self-prescribed need for perfectionism become a road block for my goals and future?

Where are you?

Often this shows up in overly lofty goals, so we have an excuse to quit before we even start. Or delay and delay and delay because we need “more”…more networking, more schooling, more confidence.
Or when we run wild with exaggerated critical responses, imagined to the point of realness, thus stalling our progress.

However it manifests itself, it’s the enemy.
It lies to us.
It steals dreams & time from us.
It kills authenticity and hope within us.

So what would it look like to flip a finger in perfection’s face, and aim for “good enough” today?

Because that, my friends, is good enough.

Good is enough.

Good is enough.
Good is enough.
Good is enough.

Now you say it ten more time. Yes, I’m being serious.

Good is enough. okay, now nine more times.

I know sometimes we don’t want to believe that. We want to give every part of our lives our all because the results are important to us. Because we want our names tied with something of significance. Especially when it has been ingrained in us that as women we have to work harder, longer, and better to compete for this, for equality. (We can smash the patriarchy too, but today we’re just focusing on getting rid of perfection. One thing at a time, ladies.)

So Cecelia, you may be asking, if I don’t give 100%, won’t everything go to shit?

I’m going to answer that with a story:

One of my all time favorite conversations I’ve had during a coaching call went a little like this: The client was burned out at work. Which she found confusing because she enjoys her job. Her job is a big one. Important and competitive. Some days there are people in immediate danger and it is literally her job to create a plan and save their lives quickly. Some days she’s filing paperwork and leading team members in more mundane situations. Yet she realized no matter what was on her to-do list that day, she felt this overwhelming burden to give 200%. She came at everything with full energy and a heightened sense of urgency.

No surprise, that’s simply not sustainable.

During our call she was able to articulate a new system to give each task the energy & attention it deserved. We call it her “Is Someone Going to Die?” method.

Wanna know the rules? Of course you do!

She asks herself, “Is someone going to die if I don’t….” If the answer is yes, she gives it her all, immediately. (In fact, I have a hunch she doesn’t really even ask this question when the situation arises because the answer is pretty obvious, but I digress…) If the answer is no, she takes a deep breath, asks “How significant is this?”, and proceeds with a normalized heart beat and an appropriate approach to the assignment. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it can just be good and finished.

Even though it feels counterintuitive to go from “perfect to good”, she’s found that this method has positively affected her overall job performance because she feels more fresh in the office & in her personal life after work. (*Throws confetti!* We are all for cultivating habits that benefit you holistically!)

Now this is such an extreme real life example (which is why my dramatic self LOVES it)—and we can still all learn from it!

We can learn to cultivate a “good and finished” mindset. We have tools and clarifying questions at our disposal too to evaluate the significance of a situation and determine what’s necessary for us to give.

The question changes from “What do I need to do so this will be every bit as flawless as I’ve pictured in my mind?” to “How can I consistently produce a good outcome?”

This shifts our mindset even further because suddenly we are measuring our success as consistency, not perfection.

Okay, so I gave you a big, dramatic example of how this plays out. Now for a smaller one:

This summer I was supposed to spend 2 weeks wandering around Ireland and Scotland with my husband and two of our favorite humans. It was going to be glorious. I could paint you a picture of us sitting at a pub, laughing with the locals on a moody summer day.

And it didn’t happen.

So after I bummed about it for way longer than the 2 week trip itself, I realized I was actually disappointed about missing out on that friend time and having a break from real life. Glorious Ireland will always be there (if we take care of our planet), but what I needed to prioritize now was connection & peace. It was then I discovered the next best thing to 14 days in a foreign country is having a set aside tea time every day on my own back porch. (yes, I’m writing that with a slight dose of sarcasm still)

It’s brilliant really. Every day, I end my work with a cup of tea on my newly painted porch. Sometimes I have high tea, making biscuits the night before. Sometimes it’s just tea and a book. Sometimes friends come over (safely) and sometimes I video chat with those far away.

Regardless of how it happens, the intention is the same: have a peaceful moment to myself each day and be available for friends.

It’s not perfect. It’s not Ireland. And yet, it’s good enough for the circumstances we find ourselves in.

(also, please note there is nothing “perfect” about my afternoon tea. This cup was $5 from a bargain shop near my house, my hair has 2 days worth of dry shampoo in it, and my porch is covered in muddy paw prints. stop waiting. you don’t need anything to simply begin.)

So, the invitation is open to you!

You have permission to show up in your world as good and not continue to strive for unattainable perfection. You can measure your success in consistency and enough-ness.

You’re invited to steal the motto: Good and finished truly is good. And soak up all the motivation that we know you’ll gain when you finish a task.

So hit publish. Or ask that person on a virtual date. Or try that new hobby again and see how you’ve grown. Or apply for that job you’re 60% qualified for. Or keep moving your body one day at a time. Or come up with a list of all the good you have to offer. Or speak up in that Zoom call.

And, as always, you’re invited to join me for afternoon tea! Let’s set up a discovery call today and explore how coaching can help you find authenticity instead of perfection.