Getting Un-Stuck

Lately, life feels a lot like the monkey bars we played on as children. Taking things one day, one rung at a time. Except now, it feels as though we have to let go of the last rung before we can quite see the one in front of us. 

Maybe you can relate? Have you felt uncertain and unqualified to proceed forward, and yet the only other option is to get stuck in the middle? 

You know, that happened to me once? I was stuck between a literal rock and a hard place!

We were in Florida, which let's be honest, no good story starts that way. Anyway, my parents thought it'd be a wonderful idea to have a nice little family swim with sharks. So, not an actual hard place, but a-pay-to-swim-with-sharks-place. 

I'm told years later that it wasn't a big tank and the sharks were overly fed so the chance of an actual bite was small, which in my humble opinion is still too high of a risk. But to my little 7 year old self, it was the Pacific and I was Dead Swimmer #1 in the credits of Jaws. I must have blocked out a lot of the day because my memory starts smack dab in the middle of the tank, in a full wetsuit that you know other kids peed in, perched on top of some dinky island made of fake plastic rocks. Sharks were everywhere. Their beady eyes circled around my mother as she treaded water, urging me off the island. Not happening, Lisa! 

There’s no photographic proof of this horrific day, so I tried to find a picture of a much happier childhood memory. My eyes are puffy from crying over losing my hat right before this photo was taken though, so…maybe not.

The life guard started pressuring me to move as there were other people with a death wish who wanted a go. People on the shore started cheering me on (which, to this day, additional attention is the WORST way to motivate me). Finally, my dad, who had already gotten out on the other side, started swimming back towards me. He swam against the man eating, beady eyed monsters and the shrill whistle of the life guard telling him that he was "most definitely not allowed to do that and sir, if you could, turn around." When he got to my plastic floating pebble, Isle de Cecelia, he looked me square in the eyes and said, "You already made it half way. You swam here by yourself. And you can swim out." 

I needed those words to move. To make my grab for the invisible monkey bar.  Not words of false promises. Not threats from life guards. Or overly cheerful, dry moms who belonged to other kids telling me it wasn't scary. I don't know you, lady! And it is scary. 

My body fear sensors and the thoughts screaming their way through my brain were telling me the truth. When it comes to humans and sharks, one typically is keen on eating the other. My body was right to be afraid.

But the words my dad spoke were also true. I had made it halfway. I swam here. I could swim out. I had been swimming since I could walk. I had options. I had the ability to take control. I could trust myself to make a decision. 

I didn't swim out on my own. That'd make way too good of a story.

But I did utilize my resources and found an alternative. Meaning, I climbed on my dad's back, using it as a buffer between me and death, and nearly drowned him as he swam me out. I should really send him a thank you note. 

All I needed was a break in my thought process so I could remember who I was and what I was capable of. 

When we feel uncertain, unqualified, or scared because both options ahead of us feel impossible, we need to shift our thoughts about who we are. 

Because the old saying is true: you are exactly who you think you are. You are capable of doing exactly what you think you can do. 

We are exactly who we think we are because our inner thoughts become the words we speak to ourselves and others. Those muttered words become fuel for our actions (or inactions.) Actions repeated over and over become outward expressions of our character. Our character determines who we show up as in this world, thus becoming our destiny, which in turn sets our legacy. 

All because of the words we allow ourselves to think.  

So dear friend, more likely than not, you have hard decisions to make now or on the horizon. And I can't tell you what to do, only you know what's best for you. 

But I can give you the first step: shift your mindset about yourself.

We have to make sure our thoughts are rooted in truth, compassion, and self efficacy. Because you have everything you need to proceed. You are capable. You are enough. You're wise enough to sense the fear and possible outcomes. That's your mind & body doing what they're supposed to do. But you also are brave enough to remember you are not confined by fear or inability or the whistles on shore telling you what to do. 

And with this truth in mind, you can reach out and... 

Let me know what you’re reaching towards! What goals excite you? How are you capturing your thoughts to get un-stuck? I love to hear from you!