Clarifying Goals & Finding Your People
This season, I’ve been super into The Voice. This show is truly made for people like me, it’s got the emotion, the competition, and so many eager hearts chasing their dreams. Plus, Kelly Clarkson has me rolling this season.
But my absolute favorite part is watching the families of the performers. I always think it is fascinating to see who comes along with the contestant. Parents, siblings, friends, kids, and grandparents huddle backstage, eagerly awaiting their loved one’s performance.
It is so endearing to me to see someone inviting their people into their dreams.
In coaching, it is crucial to share your goals with the people you love and invite them into your journey. This seems easy enough, yet so often, we don’t speak our goals out loud. There’s many reasons for this, but it mainly comes down to fear. We are afraid we won’t be supported. We fear our process will be a burden. Or, we are terrified we will fail…and everyone will know.
But what we see in shows like The Voice is: when you let people in, your goals become their deepest desires for you.
More often than not, they are all in. When you share the journey—the joy and set backs—with people who already think the world of you, they become invested in your dreams.
Here is the truth: you have people in your life who are desperate to see you succeed. Not because they are relying on your success (that’s boundary blog for another day). Rather, they believe you deserve it all because they experience life more fully when you honor your gifts and live into who you’re created to be.
Additionally, I absolutely loved watching how eager and hopeful the families are backstage. They stand with clenched hands, willing the coaches to take a chance. “Turn around. Come on, just one chair. Someone, turn around!”
In The Voice, one chair is all you need. One chair gets you one step closer to winning it all.
But sometimes, nobody’s chair turns. Whenever this happens, I wonder what the person does next. There is something to be said with how you handle moments like this. (Heyoh, two Kelly Clarkson shout outs in one post!)
You see, your goal determines your response. After facing rejection on public television, many people would stop. Heck, just the fear of rejection keeps many of us from starting in the first place. But it simply means is the goal is wrong. When we make goals that are based on others’ approval or to find our worth, we never have a chance at success.
We need to be very clear about what our goals are and how we will know we’ve reached them.
In this very specific case, is the goal to win The Voice, or is the goal to find an outlet to sing? Is the goal to have all four chairs spin, or is the goal to improve your talent and share it with others?
If you choose the latter, it needs to be clear in your mind that a singing competition is an opportunity, a possible avenue. It is not success itself.
Of course, this can be applied to all of our lives, no matter what it is we want to do more of. Being specific about success is the only way to achieve it.
Lastly, what The Voice has reminded me of this season is that we always have people in our corner. The contestants who walk away with no chairs still have an audience. They still have people who benefit from their gifts and talents.
We all do. When it feels like the chairs are not turning for us, it is important to remember there is always someone who needs what we have to offer. Your mailing list may consist of 25 people—show up for them. Your platform may be a class of 5 year olds—show up for them. You may have 3 friends who come over for a book club—write for them.
I refuse to accept that people don’t have purpose or something to offer the world. Furthermore, I will not accept that we’ve been given passions and strengths for no reason. There is someone, somewhere, who wants more of what you’ve got. It may take some searching and will definitely take hard work, but the end result is living an authentic, purposeful life…and hasn’t that been the goal all along?
