Sunday Thoughts: Intuitive Weekends

This weekend’s visitors are some of our very favorite people, so when they suggested snow tubing, we couldn’t help but say YES! We stopped by the local 2nd hand store and found two pairs of bibs (snow pants for all of us Southerners). They were about 2 sizes too big, but only $8 each, so we threw on a belt and drove upstate to the nearest ski resort! It was the absolute best day I’ve had in a long time! Each time we slid down the hill, I belly laughed—thankful for the gift of joy and dear friends to have fun with. Then, the brilliant sun disappeared behind the clouds and it started snowing on our final runs down the mountain—to say it was perfect is an understatement.

I didn’t realize until I was on top of the mountain how desperately I needed some more fun in my routine. Time carved out to metaphorically and physically throw myself down a mountain just for the joy of it.

And then, of course, I started thinking about you. This need for adventure often surfaces in coaching sessions. So many of my clients struggle finding what to do outside of their normal, every day routine. Outside of work, family, and other obligations—who am I ? It seems like an easy question, but we can often get stuck when asked, “What do you like to do for fun or to unwind?”

Why? You may ask. As adults, our lives are often missing two things we took for granted as children: 1. Play time. 2. Nap time. Responsibilities add up and we don’t make time for real rest or real enjoyment (play) anymore.

In actuality, we wait, wait, wait for the weekend “for a break.” But we are prone to waste it. Either by escaping from life’s demands. This typically looks like bumming around the whole time, never getting off the couch, and counting an entire bag of Cheetos as “dinner.” Or we go, go, go-jam packing every moment with chores or people or kids’ games or house projects. You get the point.

Either way, these routines leave us more tired when Monday comes arounds and risks putting all of our responsibilities off until the week ahead. Thus contributing to the never ending cycle. Sunday Scaries set in and Monday morning we find ourselves tired, bloated, and feeling guilty (again.) Maybe guilt for not prioritizing our health or rest. Maybe guilt for not getting chores done. Maybe guilt for unhealthy decisions we made. Maybe guilt for doing too much or not enough done. Maybe guilt for ignoring family due to obligations.

You know who doesn’t feel that way? Kids. On account of all the rest and play they’re getting.

Obviously that’s an over simplification, but my hope is that you were able to see yourself in the scenario above & it got you to start considering how you spend your weekends.

I can’t tell you the right formula, after all, it’s your life. And of course, there are so many variables that determine how we spend our time off. Not every weekend will (or should) look the same. But, I do think it’s worth considering getting in the routine of intuitively planning out our weekends. All that means is when Thursday comes around, take a few moments to plan your weekend by asking how can we take back our weekends for what they truly are supposed to be about? Where can we add moments of rest & joy?

First, we need to see where we’ve been.

Ask yourself:
Where has the majority of your time and energy been spent lately?
Work? Binging Love is Blind on Netflix? Caring for others, parents, kids, etc? Handling responsibilities? Worrying about the future or the present?
Have you been moving your body a lot or a little?
Have you been spending more time at home or away from it?
Who have you been with the majority of this week?
How have you been feeling lately?
On a scale of 1-10, how well have you been taking care of yourself?
What’s brought joy or laughter recently?

Next, after considering what you’ve been doing, determine what purpose you need your upcoming weekend to serve.

This looks less like sitting down with a “should-do” list and more like sitting in silence for 60 seconds and truly considering, “What do I need?” Ask yourself where you feel tension in your body—maybe have a 2 minute dance party or walk around the block and see what comes to mind. (Our bodies can tell us a lot when we move & let them!)

Do you need to rest?
Do you need to laugh?
Do you need time & space alone or to be with other people?
Do you need to process and heal?
Do you need to spend some time enjoying nature?
Do you need to use your hands or be creative in a way you’re not during the week?
Do you need to do things that allow you to rest, turn off your brain in a healthy capacity?
Do you need to spend time with your family?
Do you need extra time to work on that project?
Do you need to prioritize your goals and action steps, making time to work towards your future?
Do you need to listen to your body and eat foods that make you feel strong and well? Or enjoy ice cream because it’s the 8th Wonder of the World?
Would it be more beneficial to cultivate fun or time for seriousness?
Does someone in your life need something from you? Is it time sensitive? Are you in a healthy space to meet that need? If not, can it be delegated?
Do you need to clean the gutters because they’re backing up and water is flowing into your attic? No, that one’s just me? Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Next, ask yourself what options you have in meeting your needs?

Whatever your answer is, start there and maybe make a list of options of what feels good and what can work. Our weekends, like most everything else in life, has boundaries. Time, for instance. How much money you’ve allocated in your monthly budget. If you have any other obligations to work around. You get the drift. So consider your options & consider your obstacles—then find a happy solution. Need some company, but also have something due on Monday? Find people to silently work beside at your favorite coffee shop. Need a break, but also don’t have a huge amount to spend? Go to a local state park and go on a free hike—pack a lunch and you can make a whole day of it! Need to get out of your head and story worrying about that one thing? Find somewhere to volunteer and practice gratitude. There’s always a way to meet our needs. Everything is figureoutable.

But “There’s Not Enough Time to Meet My Needs”

If you find that you’re needing to do a lot, ask what’s time sensitive? Or, is there anything you’re saying is a need when really it’s a “should"? Or what do you need before you can do the other things on your list? Maybe you need rest before you bring your kid to Disney on Ice—we all get that, Karen! Take a nap! If there’s too much and this weekend is already full, look at your calendar ahead and see where you can make room for fun or relaxation or whatever else it is throughout the week or next weekend. Or maybe, you need to ask yourself “Am I trying to finish my to-do list or perfect it?” Often when we think our lives are too busy and there’s nothing we could possibly let go of, we’re lying to ourselves. The very thing we need to let go of is perfectionism & these high expectations of ourselves.

There is enough time. I promise.

It may not always feel like that. And of course, some seasons of life are particularly more demanding than others. Not every weekend includes snow tubing with out of town guests. There will be some weekends when you need rest, but you also have a major project due that you’re working overtime on. And that’s okay. The goal is, of course, to find a balance. Even if it’s sneaking a mid-afternoon walk outside during a long Saturday at the office. Or making time for brunch with friends once every 2 months. Whatever it is, make time in your routine to intuitively consider where you’re spending your time and energy (and money) on the weekends.

If you had an entire day to do anything you wanted, what would you do? Share it with your friends by downloading this template for your stories!